Experts reveal the five different types of narcissists and how to deal with them
There's said to be five different types of narcissists you should be wary of in the world, and there's different ways to deal with them.
There's a good chance you've crossed paths with a narcissist in your life as supposedly 10 to 15 percent of the global population show narcissistic tendencies, according to psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton.
Some people might present narcissistic traits, with others will have something known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) which is more severe. Per Cleveland Clinic, this is 'mental health condition that affects how you view yourself and relate to others'.
It adds: "Having NPD means you have an excessive need to impress others or feel important. That need can be strong enough to drive harmful behaviors, negatively affecting you and those around you."
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It's thought that around one to two percent of the US population has NPD, the American Psychiatric Association reports.
As there's quite a high percentage of people who will present narcissistic tendencies, experts have broken down the five types of narcissist you're likely to encounter and how to deal with them.
A dominating partner
A person who does things like gaslighting, lying, blaming, exploiting, dominating and making false promises is a person showing narcissistic traits. People in those relationships are also at risk of things becoming violent, says The Telegraph.
If you think your partner is presenting these tendencies then Sumeet Grover, a British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy-registered psychotherapist, has advice for you.
"Always know what you are dealing with; it’s easy to be blinkered by love, but a realistic view is empowering," Grover said.
"Then you can decide what you are willing to put up with, or if staying in the relationship means you are making huge compromises.
"If a narcissistic partner’s devaluing behaviour escalates, try to find the courage to tell them to stop. Setting this boundary can be an act of self-respect and an important step in protecting your emotional wellbeing."
A belittling old friend
A lot of people who have been friends with someone for a long time will feel the need to keep the friendship going, even if that friendships is no longer serving them. If you find that your supposed friend doesn't have your back, will consistently make you feel inferior, or as if you're unable to express your opinion, then there's a chance they're a narcissist.
According to Dee Johnson, a BACP-accredited counsellor, the more you give this type of person, the more they'll take from you.
Giving advice on what to do she shared: "They feed off recognition, so try to cut that supply off. But avoid confrontation, as they will only get bigger.
"A good tactic is when they are telling you what to do – which is often as they think they are always right – to acknowledge what they are saying (‘Yes, I hear you’) but don’t agree with it or act on it. It takes away their control over you."'
A parent who thinks they're most important
According to Johnson, people who have been raised by narcissistic parents will have low self-esteem, high anxiety and will be people pleasers. There's also the chance that they become narcissists themselves.
If you believe your relationship with your narcissistic parent is abusive, Johnson says you should consider separating yourself form them.
She said: "Perhaps limit the time you spend with them and take ownership of how you use that time. Try not to engage in their narrative. If they are making disparaging remarks, talk about something else.
"Narcissists love knowing every detail about you – it gives them vital information to control you – so minimise what you share, and remember, you have the right to privacy."
A sibling that places blame on you
Anyone with siblings will know that it can sometimes be a tricky relationship to balance. Sometimes they're your best friend and other days they're your enemy — but the way you feel could be a bit deeper than your sister losing your favorite sweater by mistake six years ago.
If your sibling is a narcissistic they made do things like always put the blame on you and lie to make another person feel small.
Coming to terms with the fact you have this kind of relationship can be hard, says Johnson.
She said: "A person may look at other close families and realise they won’t experience a similar connection with a narcissistic sibling.
"To move forward, it’s important for them to grieve that loss, and to confront the disappointment that’s attached to this dysfunctional relationship. And to know that it’s also normal to feel angry, lonely and confused."
A boss that scares you
A lot of us will have had one and it often comes with a sense of superiority because they're above you in the workplace pecking order.
They're likely arrogant, entitled, egotistical, desperate for praise, quick to take advantage of others, says The Telegraph, but can be charming when they need something from someone.
Speaking about a boss sitting in a position of power, Grover explained that 'a narcissistic boss will use it to reinforce their own sense of superiority and control'.
"We all need helpful feedback in our professional lives, and when it isn’t forthcoming, it’s hard to progress," Grover continued.
"If you are faced with unfair accusations from such a boss, always stick to the facts and calmly keep repeating them back if necessary. If your boss continues to devalue you, remember this behaviour isn’t personal, and when they withhold praise, it usually stems from their envy of your competence rather than a realistic assessment of your performance."
Topics: Mental Health, Psychology, Sex and Relationships, Life, News, Parenting
Niamh Shackleton