Fans of Stranger Things have been left gobsmacked by Netflix's generated captions for the series.
I barely made it through the final two episodes of season four without my hands jumping to my mouth in horror, or eyes peeking tentatively through my fingers as I squealed at the sight of Vecna looming in the doorway to target his next victim.
Had someone suggested putting on the subtitles, I may have agreed, thinking they might have helped to take the edge off the jump scares and eerie tick-tocking which has infiltrated my nightmares.
However, viewers who did reach for the remote to view the captions have made me glad I didn't. As if Stranger Things wasn't terrifying enough already, some viewers got the shock of their lives when they turned on the captions to the hit Netflix supernatural series.
One user took to Twitter to express their surprise at how 'visceral' the descriptions in the captions were.
They said: "Watching stranger things 4 with captions means subjecting yourself to phrases like 'tentacles undulating moistly' and 'gate pulses wetly' and yes captions help my auditory processing but at what cost."
Despite their initial horror at just how descriptive - and weirdly sexual - the captions to the series are, they praised the caption writers for, ultimately, doing a very effective job.
"It's kinda awesome that so many of us had legit visceral reactions to these captions/that they added to the sensory experience of watching the show. that's gotta mean whoever's writing them is doing their job correctly, right?"
It's kinda awesome that so many of us had legit visceral reactions to these captions/that they added to the sensory experience of watching the show. that's gotta mean whoever's writing them is doing their job correctly, right?— sarah day arts (@sarahdayarts) July 4, 2022
Other users have called for whoever writes the captions to be given a 'significant raise', and one even called for the writer(s) to receive 'an academy award'.
"Whoever writes the Stranger Things captions is my favorite human. The music descriptions are things like 'delicate disturbing music', 'ominous audio distortion', and 'dire synth music playing'," a third said.
can whoever is writing the captions for stranger things just fucking relax for a minute pic.twitter.com/ykxqUorTwI— ｖｙｓ (@KlLLALLPEDOS) July 3, 2022
finished stranger things, and I just gotta shout out to the real MVP, the person that wrote the closed captions. the amount of times they used the word "wetly" to describe.... anything, is incredible and deserves an academy award— zech (@bigandroidboy) July 6, 2022
What’s your favorite Stranger Things descriptive caption?— im the mayor of titty city, bitch (@alwaysabell) July 5, 2022
Mine is [dessicated withering]
We watched Stranger Things with the captions pic.twitter.com/RdD0MxChgM— Sar ika (@allMywonders) July 4, 2022
Even the captions during Eddie's (Joseph Quinn) epic guitar solo were pointed out by viewers.
The hero's rendition of Metallica's 'Master of Puppets' was detailed in the captions such as a 'ferocious guitar riff' to 'shreds guitar solo'.
Who knew you could have so many different intricate variations of synth sound too?
One user listed: "Dire synth music playing, enigmatic synth music playing, hopeful synth music playing, spooky synth music playing [...] epic synth arrangement of 'Running Up That Hill' playing."
// stranger things spoilers— nini★ (@jinistarry) July 1, 2022
the fact that the captions called eddies guitar riff AND I QUOTE "ferocious guitar riff" and "shreds guitar solo" is taking me the fuck out like even the captions know hes sick as fuck
If you were looking to expand your vocabulary then watching Stranger Things with the captions on is certainly the way to do it.
One user resolved: "Love watching Stranger Things with the captions on! 'Eldritch Thrumming' and 'Discomforting Slithering' are my new favorite adjective phrases."
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