Expert reveals five clear signs that mean your partner is about to cheat on you

Warning: This article contains discussion of addiction which some readers may find distressing.

Have you ever had an inkling that your partner is making moves behind your back but questions raised aren't shut down swiftly and assertively?

Unfortunately, one in five Americans have cheated on their partner before, past or present, so the likelihood of dating someone who has is high, according to a 2021 Statista survey.

Well, marriage and family therapist Elizabeth Winkler has written an op-ed for the Mail Online to help catch a cheater.

Without further ado, here are the five signs that your partner may be about to cheat on you.

Genuine sex addict

"Unlike a one-time lapse in judgment, this type of infidelity comes from an uncontrollable cycle where the individual feels compelled to seek new connections or experiences, regardless of the consequences," the marriage expert wrote.

"For those struggling with this addiction, the behavior is rarely about love, lust or dissatisfaction in their existing relationship, but instead reflects an attempt to temporarily fill an emotional void.

"Unfortunately, the relief doesn't last long and is usually followed by shame and a return to the same destructive cycle."

Winkler went on to explain how sex and love addiction is a 'serious condition' and that those suffering with it should vis support groups like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

Need to feel 'seen'

The therapist-of-20-years detailed how validation like being 'seen and wanted' triggers the release of dopamine, which of course is the pleasure hormone.

Speaking of it, Winkler explained: "[It] plays a powerful role in sexual dynamics, giving those who cheat a rush that temporarily fills an emotional void.

"As with all drugs, however, that feeling eventually wears off – and something more powerful is needed the next time.

"This cycle of cheating – chasing the 'high' – is common among individuals with narcissistic tendencies, where the external validation they get from sexual attention soothes an inner emptiness."

If you and your partner have grown apart recently they may need you to help them feel 'seen' (Getty stock)

Emotional baggage

Winkler wrote: "We all carry some level of undigested emotional pain from childhood, a time when we didn't have the capacity to fully feel or heal. But if that trauma was big enough – perhaps your partner experienced neglect or grief at a particularly young age – those unresolved scars can affect adult relationships too.

"If you know that your partner experienced a notable trauma in their youth, be aware they may turn to cheating as an adult to help shield themselves from future pain.

"Think of it as consciously blowing up something good in order to avoid another uncontrolled and painful ending."

She went on to explain that 'working through years-old wounds' is key, and doing so as a couple is essential for a happy marriage.

Self-sabotage

Our marriage expert detailed how one of her female clients once revealed that she had cheated on a partner after receiving a promotion at work.

"On the surface, she appeared to be thriving, but deep down, she felt unworthy of both her professional and personal success," she explained.

If your partner has a tendency to elf-sabotage they could be cheating on you (Getty stock)

"The affair became a way for her to manage the 'inevitable' disaster – even though it was self-inflicted."

Self-sabotage often stems from unresolved grief or insecurity, causing someone to unconsciously undermine their happiness.

"Loss, whether it is of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or a home, can reopen the 'graves' of past losses, overwhelming an individual with feelings of grief and unworthiness."

'Distant' partner

Winkler writes: "You've likely heard someone say: 'He's emotionally unavailable.' This phrase frequently comes up when discussing infidelity, since cheaters are often described by their partners – and sometimes by the mistress too – as emotionally distant.

"The root of this behavior often lies in what therapists call an avoidant attachment style.

"Developed in the late 1950s by UK psychotherapist John Bowlby, 'attachment theory' describes four kinds of emotional bond that people tend to form with others depending on the relationship they had as a child with their very first caregiver."

She continued: "'Avoidants' tend to feel overwhelmed by the deep intimacy that comes with being in a committed relationship. While they may crave connection, that intensity of closeness can feel suffocating, triggering their defense mechanisms to create emotional space."