Experts reveal the eight kinds of sex every relationship needs to be healthy
Topics: News, Health, Sex and Relationships
Gerrard Kaonga
Featured Image Credit: Getty Images/Dmitry Belyaev
Topics: News, Health, Sex and Relationships
Experts have outlined the eight different types of sex couples should be having to ensure their relationship is healthy and moving in the right direction.
For most couples, the sexual connection is an important pillar of what makes the relationship work.
While it may be less or more important depending on the couple, Counselling Directory member Elizabeth Johnson believes that the sexual relationship is inevitably going to change.
According to a Stylist report, she noted that this is not necessarily a bad thing, as all relationships change as things go on.
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She told the outlet: “It’s common for sex to be spontaneous, fun and frequent in the beginning of a relationship and for this to change as the relationship develops over time.
“But it doesn’t mean the sex has to stop or become a chore.”
The report, after speaking to multiple sex therapists, went on to highlight eight different types of sex couples should consider having to keep their relationship healthy in bedroom.
Now despite the name, it has nothing to do with roleplaying or getting a maintenance worker involved in the bedroom.
Experts have noted that while it is normal for sex to die down as the relationship goes on, it is still important to prioritize that level of intimacy and connection with your partner.
Psychosexual therapist Kate Moyle said: “It’s not about there being pressure to have sex at certain regularity, but about prioritizing and sustaining this part of your relationship at times when it’s easy for it to feel like it gets lost in among everything else that’s going on in life.”
However, therapists have noted it is important to not fall into the trap of all sex becoming ‘maintenance sex’.
This one can be particularly beneficial for couples that often see one half away often or after an argument.
It is essentially what is says on the tin, its about resetting things back to normal after some issue in a relationship.
Therapist Catherine Doble explained: “This kind of sex can be about repair and connection. It’s an action that can be used to say ‘I missed you’ or ‘I’m angry about this argument, but I still love you and want to be connected with you’.”
Another one that is pretty self-explanatory and is important for those in long-term relationships when you feel things may be starting to get a little stale.
While long relationships can be loving and brilliant, just like other areas of your life, sex can also start to get predictable.
Spicing things up can often prove very beneficial.
Moyle explained: “It can be beneficial in that the introduction of some novelty offers a boost in terms of dopamine, anticipation and a reminder that we can see our partners in a slightly different way.
“It’s about being playful and curious, which are really positive components of adult relationship that can get lost in and among the juggle of everything else.”
Now setting this up isn’t exactly ‘sexy’ but can be pretty important all the same when life really does get you and your partner bogged down, according to the experts.
While it might not exactly be spontaneous, it can give both parties something to look forward despite their hectic schedules.
Doble stated: “Couples can get excited about the date, and the anticipation can be a turn-on for many people.”
With that said, they noted it was also still important to mix things up to avoid things getting stale and regimented .
Wherever you are in your relationship, chances are your partner wants to feel both appreciated and wanted.
Long-term relationships can often see one person feeling underappreciated, and this can spiral into feel undesired and distant.
Appreciation sex can be a clear counter these to these feelings developing, by showing you value both good sex in the relationship and are attentive to your partner’s needs.
Speaking on this type of sex, Moyle said: “Sex and physical intimacy can be a way for partners to show each other that they care.
“It’s the crossover between affection and intimacy, and its not so much about the act of what you’re doing as much as it is about affection and recognition.”
Similar to appreciation sex, therapists have noted that it is important to be aware that your partner wants to be desired.
Moyle noted that this type of sex can give couples an ‘erotic boost or charge’ especially when things start to feel familiar in a long-term relationship.
She added: “It doesn’t have to look like it does on Netflix, but the feel of throwing everything else to one side will help with the feeling like this is the most important thing in this moment.”
While there are a lot of reasons that can prevent you from having sex in a happy relationship, it is still something worth addressing, according to the therapists.
Regardless of whether its been due to illness, a period, mental or physical health issues, the feeling of reconnecting after a lengthy break can be welcomed one.
This form of sex can be a good way for both parties to acknowledge that relationships have their ups and downs but we are still connected and desire one another.
Moyle noted: “This might look different at different times, phases and stages of your relationship, and that’s totally expected. Our motivations for sex can be dependent on what else we have going on at the time.”
This one is also pretty self explanatory, and to keep things healthy it can be a great idea to add sex on top of already momentous or celebratory occasion. This can also help magnify these feelings and reignite the passion and desire in couples.
Moyle explained: “Sharing in something joyful and personal can be a real boost for connection and desire when alongside the feeling of an emotional high.”