‘Dry begging’ is the relationship behavior that therapists are warning against but you probably don’t realize you’re doing
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Psychology, Community
Gerrard Kaonga
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Psychology, Community
No relationship is perfect, but experts have warned that ‘dry begging’ can lead to chaos between partners.
Getting relationships to work is tough at the best of time, trying to find out how people tick and how you as a unit can work together is well... hard work.
But experts have pointed out a behavior that may be making things a little bit harder.
And the most concerning thing is many people won’t even be aware they are doing it or the damage it can eventually cause.
Advert
Darren Magee, an accredited UK-based counselor, spoke in a YouTube video about how the behavior of ‘dry begging’ manifests in a relationship.
He explained passive aggressive phrases like ‘I guess I’ll just do all of the laundry this week’ or ‘most people would be happy their partner does this’ are prime examples of dry begging.
He said: “Dry begging operates by exploiting social cues and emotional signals rather than making direct requests.
“It usually involves dropping hints, displaying some kind of need or vulnerability, or making emotional demonstrations.
“All of these are aimed at creating a sense of obligation in others.”
The behavior ultimately sees someone ‘preying on empathy’ to make the other person feel obligated or compelled to help or agree.
Other relationship experts have outlined how this passive aggressive behavior can harm relationships and spell disaster for the future.
Relationship therapist Hope Kelaher spoke to Brides about this phenomenon and emphasized the importance of clear honest communication.
She said: “The key to a healthy, long-term relationship is the ability of a couple to communicate and understand the other on a deeply vulnerable level where each person lets their guard down.
“Taking a passive-aggressive stance is the exact opposite: In worst-case scenarios, I have seen it not only leads to communication breakdown, but to increased conflict, partner withdrawal, mistrust, confusion, poor self-esteem, and, in the worst cases, the end of a relationship.”
The term may not be one you are likely to see in a psychology or counseling textbook but it is a behavior some relationship experts are talking about more.
Magee’s video has also made the rounds to other social media platforms with people on Reddit admitting they were surprised that such a term for the behavior exists.
This resulted in many Reddit users recalling examples of previous partner’s exhibiting this kind of behavior and how it tarnished the relationship.