'Brieing' is a bizarre MDMA trend among middle-aged women
Just when you thought cheese couldn't get any more addictive, this gastronomic and highly illegal trend is using the dairy on your plate to get you off your head.
Instead of simply popping a pill, it seems connoisseurs of narcotics are heading to the deli and wrapping MDMA tabs in the stinky stuff.
The gooey French favorite is - apparently - the perfect choice for the trend. Its soft coating and unctuous centre makes pushing MDMA inside a morsel easy without it crumbling or having to crush the pill.
An article by Vice reported that the foodie-focussed trend is perfect for middle-aged women with 'lots of money and a penchant for fromage d'Affinois' as a more delicious alternative to 'butt-chugging' - meaning cheese and wine evenings might get even more lit.
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It should be pointed out that the drug is an illegal controlled substance in most countries and taking it like a naughty dog with an infection won't change that.
One woman who confessed to having 'brieing' parties told Metro: "Our friend had been given a gram of MDMA by her daughter and we had no idea how to take it, as, though some of us had taken coke before we had not taken MDMA.
"I phoned my son who told us not to sniff it but to swallow it, so we wrapped some of the powder in a cigarette paper and put it in Brie and all took some each.
"It was such an intense experience. I am sure most of us at that party have done it with other friends so now wrapping MDMA in Brie seems to be a thing now."
Oddly enough, it might not just be the MDMA that'd get you in trouble as people have been convicted over cheese related offences as well, including two women who were jailed for buying an 'obscene' amount of the stuff.
In the Netherlands criminal gangs have even been robbing dairy farms of huge quantities of cheese to the point that farmers are 'terrified' of being targeted by the dastardly dairy-nabbing delinquents.
As for 'brieing', the idea behind it isn't really new at all, though sticking drugs inside cheese has traditionally been the purview of pet owners who need their beloved animal companion to take a their medicine without noticing.
Hiding drugs inside cheese isn't a new one for humans either, as smuggled drugs are occasionally sniffed out and found to have been stashed inside cheese in an attempt to conceal them, which doesn't seem to work very well.
Then again why would you even need to MDMA when it spoils a lovely bit of cheese that's perfectly fine to have all by itself?
Some studies have suggested cheese triggers the same parts of the brain as taking hard drugs so perhaps everyone would be better off if they just ditched the drugs and chomped down on more cheese.
You can keep your drugs and fancy ways of taking them, when it comes to having a good time nothing beats a lovely selection of quality cheeses.
Meanwhile, MDMA could find other uses as potential 'love drugs' in development, as small quantities of the stuff could help struggling couples stay together or even ignite that initial spark of romance.
Who knows, maybe one day brieing will end up being a romantic activity?
Topics: Drugs, Food and Drink, Weird
Amelia Jones