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Topics: Science, Weird, Sex and Relationships
Rhiannon Ingle
Topics: Science, Weird, Sex and Relationships
Researchers at Harvard University are telling people to avoid these three words like the plague when it comes to small talk.
The experts have declared that everyone should cut the phrase 'how are you' from their vocabularies altogether to better their communication skills.
Instead, they've provided a whole array of other phrases to weave into your daily conversations instead.
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Whether it's with a co-worker, a first date or even just a stranger on the bus - it's a known fact that we all engage in small talk no matter how much we all profess to hate it.
Most of us usually rely on stock subjects like the weather and sports as well as surface-level questions and we rarely deviate from such a tried-and-tested script.
But, maybe we all should.
A Harvard study has given us all a few pointers to really up our small-talk game.
The paper's abstract reads: "Conversation is a fundamental human experience, one that is necessary to pursue intrapersonal and interpersonal goals across myriad contexts, relationships, and modes of communication."
Basically, chatting is vital for maintaining any semblance of a social life.
Alongside this, the researchers also analysed the power of asking actually good questions when striking up a conversation.
"When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care," the study reads.
In short, the researchers found that people are perceived as being more likeable when they simply ask some quality follow-up questions.
Gone are the days of bog-standard 'how are yous' and 'what do you dos' as we've gathered heaps more opening questions to make you a pro at small-talk.
Harvard Business has outlined a whole bunch of questions that could one day lead to you making a new friend - or at least get a second date.
The experts explain that you can ask 'what excites you right now?' to give the recipient the 'ability to give with a work-related answer, or talk about their kids, or their new boat, or basically anything that excites them'.
Equally, a more casual choice is 'what are you looking forward to?' as it is 'more forward-looking than backward-looking'.
You can end up learning heaps more about the person - from which festival they've got tickets to in summer all the way through to their career ambitions.
If you want to take it to the next level and get straight to the point then maybe ask 'what’s the most important thing I should know about you?'
While this may come off as a 'little forthright', this arguably one of the most open-ended questions which gives the person the 'broadest possible range' of answers to go for.
Will you be trying any of these?