Selena Gomez says she considered suicide for several years
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Selena Gomez has said that she considered suicide for several years following a battle with psychosis and bipolar disorder.
The actor, 30, revealed her struggles in a new interview with Rolling Stone, where she said that she there was a time when she 'thought the world would be better if I wasn't there'.
She went on to explain that she has sought help in four different treatment centres for her mental health ahead of the release of her new documentary, My Mind and Me.
Selena said: "I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad."
Bipolar disorder can cause people with the condition to experience episodes of depression and mania and these highs and lows were things that Gomez said she experienced.
She revealed that this saw her spend a lot of money on gifts including new cars for people as she experienced mania.
"I have a gift and I wanted to share it with people," she said.
However, while the actor was extremely kind during her manic episodes, she said that her depressed episodes were equally as extreme and saw her unable to leave her bed.
"It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation," she said.
"Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn't want anyone to talk to me. My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was. Sometimes it was weeks I'd be in bed, to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath."
Speculating on the cause of her lows, Selena said that a lot of it came down to her relationship status and the fact that she thought she would have been married by the age of 25.
"I grew up thinking I would be married at 25," she told Rolling Stone.
"It wrecked me that I was nowhere near that - couldn't be farther from it. It was so stupid, but I really thought my world was over."
Gomez said that part of her problem also stemmed from not feeling like she fit in with other celebrities while struggling with her non-famous friends too.
"I never fit in with a cool group of girls that were celebrities. My only friend in the industry really is Taylor [Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn’t belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me living full lives. I had this position, and I was really happy, but… was I? Do these materialistic things make me happy?" she said.
"I just didn't like who I was, because I didn't know who I was."
Things eventually escalated to the point where the actress said she began to hear voices in 2018, and it was then that she entered a treatment facility where she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
My Mind and Me is being released on Apple TV+ on 4 November.