The actor who played the persistent stalker at the center of Netflix smash hit Baby Reindeer has revealed the reason why she has never had a relationship, even at the age of 40.
In sharp contrast to her award-winning performance as Martha Scott, who becomes obsessed with an aspiring comedian after he offers her a cup of tea, Jessica Gunning has spent much of her life avoiding having a love life.
The British comic actress swept awards season for her performance, snapping up a Golden Globe, BAFTA, Critic's Choice, and Actors Award after depicting her crazed stalker as a lost and emotionally vulnerable individual.
But the Baby Reindeer star has shared in a revealing interview with The Times that she has 'never been in a relationship before with anyone,' after struggling with her identity for many years, often pushing potential male suitors onto her female friends.
Advert
After years of confusion about her interior life, Gunning would reveal in 2022 that she identifies as part of the queer community, though her path to enlightenment was anything but straightforward.
"Everyone around me was gay. I just didn’t think I could be," she shared, going on to explain that her confusion led to her avoiding any potential romantic entanglements. Even while her on screen career began to bloom with major roles on TV series like The Outlaws and Back.
"Well, not to get too deep, but it was probably that I didn’t want to go out with guys and so I was finding a way to avoid it," Gunning said.
She explained: “I never knew how to flirt, I didn’t get it. I was always friends with guys and would set them up with other friends. In a way it was, like, ‘Great, because I’m not interested.’”
The award-winning actor argued that some of her difficulty originated in her size. She said that her multi-decade dry spell 'might be connected to size', but argued that it was more complicated than that.
Gunning reflected on how her weight made her feel different from the people around her. She told the publication: “It’s hard to word this because I don’t want it to seem like I’m saying it in a negative way, because it definitely isn’t.
"I didn’t feel like an alien in a negative way, but it was, like, an otherness.”
This 'otherness' allowed the actor to leave her identity underexplored. Gunning explained: "The otherness, I suppose, looking back, protects me from having to go, ‘I don’t fancy men.’ I was just, like, ‘Oh, it’s not the time for me,’ or whatever. And then, before I knew it I was in my 30s.”
But this distance also allowed her to dive headfirst into developing her acting career, with the 40-year-old adding: "My job was my passion and my love. The characters I got to play, I felt like I maybe lived vicariously through a lot of them.
"I felt very sexual and I felt very connected to myself, so I was so happy in so many ways. It didn’t feel like I was lonely. I lived with my best mate. I felt fulfilled. I didn’t feel like I was lacking anything.”
Topics: Baby Reindeer, Netflix, Mental Health, Sex and Relationships
William Morgan