Hospice nurse whose seen 100s of people die reveals the only death that made her unsettled

A hospice nurse has shared the one incident which shook her beliefs that there are no bad spirits.

Julie McFadden is a hospice nurse who has shared her experiences of working around people at the end of their lives, and tries to break the stigma and fear around death and dying.

For the most Julie, who posts online as Hospice Nurse Julie, says that she firmly believes that there is nothing inherently bad, going against a lot of ideas around hell or bad spirits.

In fact, she has made it her task on her social media channel to try and reassure people about dying and share beautiful and human stories from over her 16-year career as a hospice nurse.

And while most patients have reinforced this belief, Julie shared that in 16 years, there has been just one instance which has led to her questioning things. However, even now, she shared that she is still firm in her beliefs, but this just shook her slightly.

Julie recounted the story (YouTube/Hospice Nurse Julie)

Recalling the story in a video on her YouTube channel, she said that she had a young woman in her late 20s early 30s who was admitted with a terminal brain tumour, and was. being cared for by her friends, with no family.

The woman was adamant that she didn't want any 'western medicine' during her stay - so no painkillers or, Julie put it, 'nothing that was going to basically help her'.

Instead, the nurse explained that this patient had wanted to do 'prayer, meditation, chanting, different sound things, and different herbs and stuff', saying that she has 'nothing against' these things.

The patient allowed her friends to give her cannabis in a black tar that was rubbed on her gums, meaning that she had black teeth and black gums.

She explained that as the weeks went on, her friends had started to drape the apartment in white sheets, until the whole apartment was covered with white, as well as there being 'crosses everywhere'.

"You would think that it would feel good and light and airy," she Julie. "But it did not. The second that I would walk in that apartment I'd be like, my stomach would get a pit in it, I would feel awful, I would feel physically scared."

Julie said this was the only incident which made her question things (YouTube/Hospice Nurse Julie)

Describing how the patient was behaving, Julie said: "She would grunt and moan and have these guttural things coming out of her that made me question everything."

Despite her fear, Julie felt sympathy as the woman did not have any pain relief.

"I also felt terrible for her, because a lot of it could have been symptoms, it could have been her symptoms were not managed," said the nurse.

"I remember going there every single morning until she died and I would get sick to my stomach just walking into the apartment."

But at least when she passed away there was a sense of peace, right? Wrong.

"It was not peaceful," said Julie. "It did not feel better when she had died. The apartment was still just really really bad feeling.

"It's the one instance, the one situation I have been in that has made me question a little about of my beliefs about is this real, are there bad energies?"