Former CIA officer reveals one simple strategy he believes every person should know

A former CIA officer has reflected on his time with the agency and the strategies the everyday person can employ to better their relationships.

The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) is often spoken about in pop culture through films and TV , but the reality of the US government agency is considerably different from what you might think.

Ex-CIA officer Andrew Bustamante spoke with UNILAD and delved into the many things he learnt while working for the service, including CIA strategies for dealing and interacting with people - strategies that are so beneficial, every person should consider employing them.

Speaking about his time in the CIA, Bustamante explained how the agency ultimately trains people to understand the major benefits of saying less.

How the strategy works

He said: “One of the biggest things that the CIA teaches us is that there's incredible power in your anonymity, in being invisible and being overlooked, in being ignored. And it's, it's completely counter-cultural.

Andrew Bustamante explained the simple way CIA agents are able to get information with this strategy (UNILAD)

“Because our whole life we are taught that we're supposed to stand out, we're supposed to get attention. You're supposed to get noticed.”

Which is very true, because when was the last time someone told you NOT to stand out and separate yourself from the crowd?

However, Bustamante noted that when you actively choose to say less and hold your tongue, it can be easier for people to give you more information.

This makes sense if you are a spy on a mission, but he also highlighted the benefits in normal relationships and interactions.

How other people are likely to react

Bustamante added: “If you're trying to have a conversation with somebody, the person is more likely to tell you more sensitive information, because they do not see you as a threat.

“You're not a threat to their job, you're not a threat to stealing their girlfriend, you're not a threat to their business, so they will tell you more sensitive information.

“CIA also teaches you that if you're going to get people to share more information, you have to talk less, and you have to learn how to hold back when you want to engage.”

Now, with some interactions it can be very hard not to say your piece, tell someone you disagree or demand they tell you more, but doing so might not always be the best step.

Also, a disclaimer... I'm not encouraging you to steal people's girlfriends or jobs.

According to the former CIA officer, saying less and holding your tongue can help you better understand people (Getty Stock Image)

Understanding situations better

But Bustamante emphasized that saying less can allow you to understand more about the person speaking, how they think, how they feel and how they process information.

This can ultimately help prevent misunderstandings and disagreements in the future.

But beyond this, Bustamante noted that saying less and learning how to - and when to - hold your tongue can help you better understand how situations really went down rather than how you think they did.

The former intelligence officer noted that people can often be very unaware of how they are actually coming across because they have been a little too forward.

He continued: “What ends up happening is a lot of people will have completely different misconceptions about how a business meeting went, how a date went, how a conversation with a boss went, you'll think that you had this great conversation, but they don't think the same way.

“This is because you probably spent the majority of that conversation talking, and that gave them an impression, like you were a threat.”

You may also come across more positively by talking less and listening more (Getty Stock Image)

Coming across more positively

Bustamante concluded by insisting it could be worth opting to be the ‘quiet person’ because this can often be interpreted positively by other people.

Rather than coming across boisterous or conceited, according to Bustamante, this attitude can ‘make the other person feel like they're more interesting, it makes the other person feel like you're patient, it makes the other person feel like you are more empathetic to what they're sharing with you, and it makes them more likely to want to come back and talk to you again’.

And regardless of the kind of relationship, being interpreted this way can certainly be beneficial in the long term.