A new ‘warm sex’ trend has been circulating, and an expert has revealed just why it should become the new addition in the bedroom.
You might be wondering how sex can be anything other than ‘warm’, but according to Barbara Santini, a psychologist and sex and relationships adviser at Peaches and Screams, ‘warm sex’ isn’t about the temperature.
We’ve heard sex being described as being ‘hot’, and usually, that involves passionate, fast-paced sex.
But when it comes to ‘warm’ intimacy, things aren’t as rushed.
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According to ABC’s American Sex Survey from 2004, 83 percent of men enjoy sex ‘a great deal’, while only 59 percent of women say the same.
It’s clear that there’s a divide here, but this sex method could close the gap.
The Sexological Bodywork curriculum introduced warm sex as the slower, and gentler counterpart to what we’re used to seeing on film taking place behind closed doors.
“'Warm sex' is about slowing down, connecting deeply and savouring every moment. It's not just about the physical act," said Santini as she spoke with Glamour.
“It is about nurturing emotional intimacy, which is the bedrock of any strong relationship.”
Instead of rushing to get each other’s clothes off with the goal of having sex, climaxing, and going back to what you were doing before, warm sex isn’t goal orientated at all.
According to Santini, this slower form of sex is both beneficial for you, and your relationship.
“I see it as a gentle balm for the soul, soothing anxieties and fostering a sense of security,” she explained. “Warm sex can reduce stress, boost self-esteem and strengthen bonds.”
This is because you’re taking your time and opening yourself up to a more connected way of exploring your other partner and being explored in return.
Without it, you could be leaving your relationship feeling stale and disconnected.
She expressed that prioritising your connection ‘over quick gratification’ means we’re opening up to new ‘pleasure and fulfilment that goes far beyond the physical’.
So, how does it work?
According to Santini, a little bit of mood lighting goes a long way.
"Dim the lights, light some candles, play soft music, anything that creates a serene atmosphere," she suggested.
But as you begin your exploration of each other, make sure there’s no goal in mind and you’re purely focused on one another, communicating as you go.
This could be about your fantasies, desires, insecurities, shared the expert.
Vulnerability, she said, is ‘key’ to this process.
Like tantric sex, warm sex is slow, intentional, and aims to bring two people closer together, instead of treating sex like a task that needs to be finished in the quickest time possible.
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Britt Jones