Featured Image Credit: Instagram/@hospicenursejulie/Getty Stock Image
Topics: Health, Mental Health
Poppy Bilderbeck
Topics: Health, Mental Health
There's one 'greatest regret' which a hospice nurse has seen echoed in 'most' people she's supported at the end of their life.
Hospice nurse Julie McFadden uses her social media platform to raise awareness about some of the realities of death, helping inform people about 'the dying process' to prepare them better and support their mental well-being.
During an appearance on Rob Moore's Disruptors podcast, McFadden reflected on some of her experiences having supported around 100 people including the 'greatest regret' held by many.
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The nurse - who goes by 'Hospice Nurse Julie' on social media - said: "The greatest regret of the dying they have said to me is they didn't appreciate their health when they had it.
"So when like for example, they're just not hungry, they don't want to eat, but they see their family and they wish they wanted to eat. They wish they wanted the food that their family was offering them.
"Or of course when they're having symptoms. I wish I would've appreciated how easy it was for me to get up, get out of bed and go to work. Or go anywhere. And now I can't. I wish I would've appreciated those things.
"And that stuff hits home for me because you can take that granted so easily, all of your abilities to do things. And that's mostly what they've said to me."
And there are some other 'typical things' too.
McFadden continued: "I wish I didn't work so much. I wish I didn't wait until I was retired to go on that vacation. I wish I said what I needed to say to people who are no longer here.
"I wish I would've just said what I needed to say. I wish I would've lived how I truly wanted to live."
She noted it's certainly 'a big pill to swallow' when thinking about regrets at the end of life, before going on to reveal what she ultimately thinks is 'important' to take from others' experiences.
The nurse resolved: "So, anyone listening, we're all dying but we're not dead yet and I think it's important [...] I don't think it's about, 'We're all going to die so quit your jobs and jump out of an airplane, go travel the world'. That is cool if that's what you want to do. And I realize we still have to live our lives.
"So I think there's something about confronting our own mortality so we can live our day-to-day life in the sense of waking up in the morning and thanking our bodies, whoever, that we opened our eyes and are now conscious again. That I can drink my coffee that I love so much in the morning. That I can feel the ocean breeze on my face.
"That's the stuff to me that matters - you bring presence into your everyday living, is what I think makes a meaningful life."
If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence, contact GrieveWell on (734) 975-0238, or email [email protected].