Topics: Psychology, Science, TikTok
A former special agent has revealed how we can all learn to ‘read people’ just by focusing on two specific things.
It's almost a given that upon meeting someone new, your mind immediately goes into overdrive to figure out what type of person they are, with all eyes immediately pointing to their body language.
While there are a few myths surrounding certain types of body language and other nonverbal cues, there's an easier method to figuring out a person's intentions.
According to the former US special agent and journalist Evy Poumpouras, it is all about the person's 'headspace' when trying to read them.
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“Remember, it's not about where you are, it's about where they are," she told BBC Maestro. "And if you can figure out what their headspace is and what they're motivated by, it's gonna make life a lot easier for you. So let's break them into two categories: identity, instrumental.”
So, how does it work?
According to Poumpouras, identity is a person who is 'absorbed in their own space', adding: "They are emotional; they are seeing things from their point of view. They are self-focused.
"Often when they speak, you will hear them say, I think, I feel, I believe.
"They are in a space of emotion, and everything has to do with them. That's identity."
Meanwhile, those with an 'instrumental headspace' are very 'task-orientated', as she explains: "They are looking to get things done. Sometimes they can come off a bit blunt or direct."
She defines herself as an 'instrumental' person, as she adds: "I can't help it. The US Secret Service was a very instrumental agency.
"Nobody really cared about how you felt; they just wanted you to get things done. So if you botched something, they'd say, fix that. You mess it up, get it done.
"Nobody's feelings would get hurt because it was a very instrumental headspace. When you're instrumental, you're direct, you're to the point, you're very task-oriented. Very little emotion there."
Poumpouras believes that understanding an individual’s headspace can help improve your conversations with them.
She said: "If somebody is identity, and you're talking to them from an instrumental headspace, they're gonna look at you, why are you speaking to me like that? Why are you so blunt? Why are you so cold?
"And when you're instrumental, you can often run into that."
In another interview with The School of Greatness, Poumpouras describes the 'identity' headspace as more emotional and 'not being very productive', whereas the instrumental headspace focuses more on achieving solutions.
However, it isn't a fixed mindset, and it's 'okay', according to Poumpouras, but it is more about 'being aware of it and acknowledging it, but also wanting to change it', as she says it can be 'very limiting'.
