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Man asks for his money back after paying the bill on date with woman who declined to go on second date

Jess Battison

Published 
| Last updated 

Man asks for his money back after paying the bill on date with woman who declined to go on second date

Featured Image Credit: Instagram/@samcostanz / Pexels/cottonbro studio

“I’ll pay,” “No let me, or let’s split,” “No, no, I’ve got this.” It’s a classic back and forth anyone whose ever dated is probably familiar with.

And everyone has their own view on how the cheque should be handled on a first date.

But we’re not here to dive into that firepit. Instead, it’s the politics of actually asking for the money back when it doesn’t work out.

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Like this man who asked to be Venmo’d after a woman declined going on a second date with him.

The man paid for their date. Credit: Peter Cade/Getty Images
The man paid for their date. Credit: Peter Cade/Getty Images

Samantha Costanza told NBC San Diego about the time she went on a first date with a guy after meeting him on a dating app in January 2022.

Sheltering from the cold weather, the pair sipped hot cider together at a Brooklyn bar.

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And when it came to paying for their drinks at the end, her date handed his credit card over.

But in the following days when he reached out to say he’d like to see Costanza again, she didn’t quite feel the same.

The 29-year-old said: “I spent over an hour crafting a very polite reply that assured him I had a lovely time but just did not see a future connection.”

However, his response to this was to ask if she could Venmo him for the drinks they had which took Costanza by surprise, questioning his motives.

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“I was in complete shock,” she added. “It made it seem like the only reason he would offer to pay for my drinks was that he expected something from me.”

These situations are becoming more frequent in the world of online dating - and inflation - as first daters seem to be more comfortable asking the stranger for the cash back.

Apps could be making it easier for dates to ask for this. Credit: 	d3sign/Getty Images
Apps could be making it easier for dates to ask for this. Credit: d3sign/Getty Images

And dating app expert, Irina Manta told NBC San Diego: “The man considered the cost of that first date an investment, and that investment did not pan out.”

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But dating coach Blaine Anderson said: “Venmo-requesting a woman to split your first date if she doesn’t agree to a second date is pathetic and unethical.”

One woman was even sent an ‘invoice’ from a date when she told the man she ‘didn’t have a romantic connection’ with him.

TikToker Fiona Hope received the invoice with the project name ‘unsuccessful date’, including a breakdown of £17 ($21.60) for food and £12 (£15.20) for drinks. It sounds like a relatively cheap evening in the grand scheme of things, but he still wanted to make sure he got that £29 ($36.80) back 'ASAP'.

Some viewers were divided on that matter, with one even going as far as to say it was ‘fair play’.

Topics: Community, Money, Sex and Relationships, US News

Jess Battison
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