Jess Hardiman
Kevin Smith has admitted he felt ‘okay with dying’ after suffering a ‘massive heart attack’ a few years ago, saying he walked away from the experience with a ‘better understanding’ of death.
Back in February 2018, Smith revealed he had suffered a heart attack after performing in Glendale, California.
The filmmaker was due to perform again that evening, but cancelled the gig after falling ill – later taking to social media to update fans about what had happened.
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Tweeting a picture of himself from hospital, he wrote: "After the first show this evening, I had a massive heart attack.
"The Doctor who saved my life told me I had 100 percent blockage of my LAD artery (aka 'the Widow-Maker'). If I hadn't canceled [the] show to go to the hospital, I would've died tonight. But for now, I'm still above ground!"
In a new interview with the Independent, Smith said he’s now a lot more comfortable with concept of dying, despite once being ‘terrified’ of it.
“I walked away from the heart attack with a better understanding of death,” he said.
“I used to be terrified of it, now I get it. It reminded me of high school. I loved high school. I never wanted to leave, but eventually they f***ing toss you out. You’ve got to enter the next stage.”
As he lay on the operating table, Smith suddenly realised that he didn’t have anything to be scared of – having finally come to terms with ‘what’s next’, only to find he made it through in the end.
He continued: “It’s the most natural f***ing thing in the world.
“You show up, and you go. All those years I spent going, ‘No, I don’t want to die!’ That’s natural and healthy. No human being wants to die, but being terrified of it went away while I was laying on the table.
“I became OK with my own death. I wasn’t emo about it, or a f***ing goth, but I was OK with dying. I was like, ‘You know what, I get it, and I look forward to what’s next.’
“And then the f***ing doctor saved my life, son of a bitch, so now I’m here making Clerks III.”
Appearing on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert a few months after the huge health scare, Smith explained how he initially thought he was 'too high' when he was struck down by the dangerous 'widowmaker' heart attack.
"I honestly thought I was too high," he told the show's host.
"I had smoked a bunch of weed that day because I was doing the shows, then I smoked a joint right before the show and I got off stage and all of the sudden, I had a heart attack.
"I asked my doctor like after this was all done, I was like, 'I hate to ask this question, man, but did I have a heart attack because of the weed? Because I smoked a joint right before the show'."
Doctors had a surprisingly positive perspective, with Smith continuing: "No. In fact, quite the opposite. That weed saved your life.
"He said, 'You kept calm...they told you [you] were going through stuff and you kept calm the whole time, so that joint saved your life'."