Jennette McCurdy has opened up on what it was like being raised as a Mormon, and has revealed how she thought 'the Holy Ghost' was keeping her mum alive.
The iCarly actor has claimed her mother, Debbie McCurdy, was abusive towards her before she passed away from cancer in 2013.
Following the recent release of her memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died, the 30-year-old told Alison Stewart on the 'All Of It' podcast that she blamed herself for her mother's death.
Jennette explained: "I had OCD as a child and I also grew up Mormon.
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"I thought that my OCD was the Holy Ghost speaking to me.
"And I thought that the Holy Ghost was helping me to keep my mum alive and if I didn’t continue with my, what I know now as OCD rituals, my mum would die, was my kid logic there.
"Then eventually she did say that I caused her cancer.
"So I was older at the time, I was in my late teens when she had said that but it certainly was not an easy thing to hear and because I was so emotional stunted at that age, I still felt that I was to blame, that somehow maybe I hadn’t done my rituals right and had caused mum’s cancer.
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"It was a very layered, warped way of thinking."
Jennette also made an appearance on Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk where she claimed that her mum allegedly forced her to have showers with her brother when she was 11.
“You were, what, 11?” Pinkett Smith asked, to which the actor replied: “Yeah.”
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Jennette said: "Mom showers me with Scotty sometimes. He's almost 16 at this point. I get really embarrassed when she showers us together. I can tell he does too."
She added: "When she showers us together, Mom says it's because she's got too much to do. Scott asked if he could shower himself on his own once. Mom sobbed and said that she didn't want him to grow up so he never asked again after that."
When Pinkett Smith asked how this affected McCurdy’s dynamic with her brother, she replied: “I’m so close with all three of my brothers, and they have been such a source of love and support and consistency in my life – where there really wasn’t much anywhere else.”
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If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence regarding the welfare of a child, contact the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000, 8am–10pm Monday to Friday, 9am–6pm weekends. If you are a child seeking advice and support, call Childline for free on 0800 1111
Topics: Celebrity