It turns out Pete Davidson’s penis is not quite as ‘grande’ as we have all been led to believe.
Long regarded to have the understated confidence of a man with ‘big d*ck energy’, the subject of Pete’s genitalia has been dissected in surprising detail.
His comfort with the world and with himself has always seemed to radiate a certain sort of satisfaction, without the constant need to show off too much.
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And in the fateful summer of 2018, Pete’s then-fiancée, Ariana Grande, appeared to settle the question once and for all. Pete had dong for days, and this legacy has since proved to be somewhat of an albatross around Pete’s neck, or rather his jeans…
It was 22 June 2018, and Pete and Ariana appeared to be still very much in love when a fan tweeted at Ariana with a simple – yet ultimately confusing – question: "How long is Pete ???"
The fan quickly clarified: "OH AS IN THE INTERLUDE NOT AS IN… ANYWAY."
But it was too late. Ariana replied before reading the clarification, thus sealing Pete’s status as a trousersnake among comedians: "Like 10 inches?…. oh f**k… I mean a little over a minute."
Ariana late deleted the tweet, but Pete’s penis proceeded to become one of the breakout stars of 2018, sparking endless memes as the world collectively giggled.
The Saturday Night Live comedian apparently spoke about his ex’s tendency to overshare while performing at Tarrytown Music Hall in New York.
Seemingly a little disgruntled by what many would regard as a pretty solid compliment, Pete joked: "I don’t like that she talked all that s**t for my penis. Everything is huge to her.
"Why would she tell everyone that I have a huge penis? So that every girl who sees my d**k for the rest of my life is disappointed."
Pete has also reportedly spoken out about the 'Thank U, Next' video, aka the dream movie montage all noughties era teen girls were waiting for, where his wang is once again given a shout-out.
In one scene from the music video, the notoriously over-sharey Ariana is dressed up as ultimate Queen Bee Regina George from the deliriously quotable Mean Girls.
However, rather than containing nasty comments about the ‘fugly’ girls in her class and their appreciation for hot dogs, Ariana’s burn book was all about her exes.
On Pete’s page, one word in particular stood out; further cementing Pete’s reputation as a human racehorse: ‘HUUUUUGE’.
According to Elle Magazine, Pete made the following address to his audience during a New Year’s Eve comedy set in Boston: "Here’s the thing about the breakup song. Usually breakup songs you know who it’s about but you don’t really know.
"That G named all of us. Bam. She named all of us. And then, tells us, yeah, he has a big d**k."
Topics: Ariana Grande, Pete Davidson, Celebrity
The UNILAD Team