Featured Image Credit: blueorigin/Instagram
Topics: Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos, Mental Health
Joe Yates
It’s been eight months since Blue Origin’s first all-women space mission made history, yet one astronaut says what should have been a dream felt more like a nightmare.
Amanda Nguyen, the pioneering scientist and first Vietnamese female astronaut, has opened up about the aftermath of the 10-minute suborbital flight she experienced alongside Katy Perry.
The crew also included TV personality Gayle King, Jeff Bezos' wife and former journalist Lauren Sánchez, aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe, and executive producer Kerianne Flynn. It was the first all-women space flight since Valentina Tereshkova in 1963.
Following the flight, Perry hit out at online critics for using her as a 'human piñata', with the pop star having been bombarded by abuse for taking part in the controversial trip.
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Now, Nguyen is the latest member of the historic flight to concede that the mission turned from a 'dream turned into a nightmare'.
“When Gayle called to check in on me in the aftermath of the spaceflight, I told her my depression might last for years,” Nguyen revealed in a lengthy statement on Instagram.
“Everything I had worked for - as a scientist, my women’s health research, the years I had trained for this moment ... were buried under an avalanche of misogyny."
The volume of coverage was staggering - and something Nguyen could have never imagined in her wildest dreams, and sadly the majority of that was hostile.
She continued: "I felt like collateral damage, my moment of justice mutilated. I did not leave Texas for a week, unable to get out of bed. A month later, when a senior staff at Blue called me, I had to hang up on him because I could not speak through my tears."
Nguyen went on to explain how she put on a brave face for the public, and how the breast cancer research she took with her was 'uplifted by the media bringing attention to women’s health', and how it opened doors for her to 'advance my fight for rape survivor rights'.
"It's been 8 months since then, and I'm glad that the fog of grief has started to lift," she said.
Before continuing: "What l've learned is that we never fully leave behind our past selves; all parts of us are valuable. It's ok to remember and recognize the pain we've been through rather than erase it. Even through the tsunami of harassment, I was able to tell my survivor self 'I kept my promise'.
"I was able to tell her that millions of strangers have kindness and discernment. Thank you for protecting her. It has been the biggest grace to feel that support. To every friend that has held my heart in your love. Every person who has shared with me what the power of representation means, every survivor that has shared with me a renewed sense of knowing that their dreams still can come true despite violence, every human who took the time to share my story above the noise."
"When the grief returns, I begin at your kindness. It is the greatest gift this holiday season that I can feel the fog lifting. I can tell Gayle it's not going to take years."