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Topics: Health, Mental Health, Psychology
Poppy Bilderbeck
A clinical psychologist has revealed what it looks like if your boss is 'future-freezing' you.
Ever felt like you're trying your best at work, even going above and beyond in a bid to try and get that promotion or raise, but your boss isn't recognizing your efforts and is simply using your work to boost themselves? Well, this may be a sign you have a narcissistic boss who's future-freezing you.
Dr Ramani took to her YouTube channel on February 3 to reflect on when a narcissistic boss can become even more tricky to deal with, not just in the present, but in how they could impact your future too.
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She explains: "Some of you may have detected that your boss was narcissistic but also believed that working hard will get you ahead or that someone would take notice of it and there would be an opportunity to grow within the organisation.
"You may be doing your job uncomplainingly, keeping your eye on the prize, believing that if you do well, you will be advanced. [But] because they are narcissistic, they have zero interest in your growth or your potential."
This can result in your narcissistic boss 'actually hold[ing] you back' and your future being 'frozen'.
So, should you try and call them out?
Well, Dr Ramani notes 'the selfishness of a narcissistic boss, like any narcissistic person, knows no bounds' and they don't 'have their team member's best interests at heart'.
She adds: "With a narcissistic boss, you exist for them, for their career, and they will label you as selfish.
"They may tell you that you are not ready to advance - even though you are - and they may future fake you and tell you that the team just needs to get past some made up deadline or bench mark and then you can talk about it."
This can sometimes be taken to another 'cruel level' which can see a narcissistic boss 'even lie to you about how they're going to talk to other people in the organisation to ensure that the right people know about you but they never do'.
"And the final insult in all of this is that they may even try and block you when you try to leave the position and seek out a new one," Dr Ramani adds.
The psychologist warns it's 'important' for people to recognize when this is happening, otherwise they could end up 'stuck in [their future being frozen] for a very long time and may miss real opportunities to advance in a timely manner'.
And if you have identified your boss as a narcissistic future-freezer?
Dr Ramani advises to 'do your homework' on previous employees who've worked with your boss before and even make 'tentative enquiries' about those who came before you, alongside requesting 'ongoing performance reviews so you have evidence of your performance so you have records of any work product you create'.
It's also crucial to try and find someone else who you look up to within the company who you can go to as a 'genuinely supportive, non-narcissistic mentor'.
Ultimately, if you've recognized your boss as a narcissistic future-freezer, it may be time to leave - no matter how much money they dangle in front of you.
"The individuation, autonomy, and pursuing a career that isn't about making [your boss] look good is even more valuable," Dr Ramani concludes.