Topics: Mental Health, Health, Parenting
A mindset and trauma coach has revealed the four signs of a 'peacock parent'.
As you get older, you slowly begin to realize no one has a clue what they're really doing - and that includes your parents.
Just because they're an 'adult' and lecture you about being 'older and wiser,' doesn't always mean that's the case.
And when it comes to whether or not their a 'peacock parent'? Well, this type of parent can be an even trickier one to navigate.
The phrase is reported as having originated from British psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton's book titled, My parent the peacock: Discovery and Recovery from Narcissistic Parenting.
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Essentially, a 'peacock parent,' is a parent who is a narcissist and narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder, is 'a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance," Mayo Clinic explains.
"But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism."
And social media mindset and trauma coach, Candice Tamara, has taken to TikTok to reveal 'four signs you were raised by a narcissist parent.'
First up, is 'they cannot' and 'will not' take 'responsibility' for their 'behaviour and treatment of you as a child or as an adult now'.
"Saying sorry will be really difficult for them and will not feel genuine," she explains. Secondly, your parent will 'gaslight you and invalidate your feelings'.
The coach continues: "If you go to them to explain how they may've made you feel, they'll make you feel that you are wrong or that your perception is wrong or that you're too sensitive."
Second to last is they'll 'make you feel guilty for setting boundaries' and then 'won't respect' them either.
And last but not least, 'they see you as an entitlement to them' so they may feel 'jealous' seeing you spend time with other people and 'building a nice, happy relationship' with others too.
But what can you do if you relate to the above?
Well, Verywell Mind advises sometimes it helps to reduce or completely eliminate contact with that parent.
Or if you're looking for a softer approach, it could be 'stepping back emotionally,' communicating clear boundaries and stepping back if they breach them.
The outlet explains kids who've been raised by a narcissistic parent can 'often deal with a range of issues' later in life, from 'poor self-esteem, people pleasing' to 'codependency'.
It's important to seek help and advice from a therapist or professional if you're struggling with dealing with a narcissist or the consequences of having been raised by one.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 to reach a 24-hour crisis center or you can webchat at 988lifeline.org. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.
