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Woman Born With Intersex Condition Feels ‘Vilified’ And ‘Flawed’

Woman Born With Intersex Condition Feels ‘Vilified’ And ‘Flawed’

A Reddit user said she was left in 'mental distress' after her religious parents hid her diagnosis from her for 14 years.

A woman born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) said she feels 'flawed' as she discussed intersex conditions online.

Taking to Reddit, the user, who grew up in a conservative part of the US, said she was left in 'mental distress' after her religious parents hid her condition from her for 14 years.

15 years on from her AIS diagnosis, the Reddit user, now based in London, admitted she battles with self-acceptance and experiences days where she 'loathes' herself.

Writing in the thread, IAmA, she explained: “When I was 14 years old, I found out I should have been born male, but I have a genetic condition that stops me from responding to male hormones.

A woman with AIS answered questions on Reddit on Friday (

“Externally I appear female, but genetically I have XY chromosomes. Learning this really caused me a lot of mental distress, especially as I grew up in a religious household in a fairly conservative part of the United States.”

The woman heartbreakingly added that she believes her parents view her 'as a bit of a disappointment' and said she feels 'vilified' for having AIS as she opened the thread up to questions.

When asked if she had a 'healthy relationship' with who she is, IAMAXYWoman explained: “Some days I'm perfectly fine and accepting of my condition, whereas other days I loathe who I am.

“Internally, I know that a lot of it comes down to my craving to feel accepted as I struggled with parents who essentially ignored the condition, a religious upbringing that vilified the condition, an abusive first ex who used it against me, and other struggles.

“I went through a breakup last year (together for almost six years), and the hardest part for me was that my second ex said he wanted to sleep around with other women.

“The confidence I had gained being in what I thought was a loving relationship was instantly shattered hearing that as it made me feel like I'm clearly so flawed in a way that no one will ever truly accept me.

The woman said she feels 'flawed'.

“Therapy has been helping me see that it's much more his problem than mine (he had cheated on me early on in the relationship, but I stupidly stayed), and that's been helping.

“Still, I know I am still working on truly accepting who I am. It's just hard when you've had no one but yourself to build up any confidence, and the world can be cruel.”

Later on in the thread another user asked if her parents have 'come to terms' with her Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome diagnosis, to which she responded: “My parents knew my entire life that I had the condition, they just didn't tell me until I was 14. Honestly, it really caused a rift in our relationship.

“They would refuse to tell me things like why I couldn't have children, or why I wasn't having periods, insisting that it was simply because ‘God made you that way.’

“After they told me, so many things I had questioned were suddenly clear, but they insisted that I should never tell anyone as they would judge me.

“From my perspective, they've always viewed me as a bit of a disappointment - a little broken.

Reddit users praised her honesty.

“I think they were glad I had two normal siblings to compensate for my failure to have good genetics. In other ways, I think they blamed themselves.”

The Reddit user later added that her parents should have told her sooner about AIS as it was 'frustrating to not have any answer'.

After answering a plethora of questions, IAMAXYWoman was praised for sharing such intimate details by Reddit users, who thanked her for being 'so open' and 'honest'.

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome affects the development of a person's genitals and reproductive organs.

Although those with AIS have XY chromosomes, the body does not respond to testosterone fully or at all, which prevents the sex development of a typical male. Females born with AIS subsequently don’t have a womb, fallopian tubes or ovaries.

The UN reports around 1.7 percent of the US population is born with intersex traits.

If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]  

Featured Image Credit: Alamy

Topics: Health, Life, News, LGBTQ