Common relationship red flag has couples majorly divided as expert speaks out on how to deal with it
Topics: Social Media, TikTok
Ellie Kemp
Featured Image Credit: Peter Cade/Getty Images
Topics: Social Media, TikTok
From treasured vacation snaps to fun selfies, our phones document the highs and lows of our existence - including our love lives.
But once a relationship ends, many are left with a digital trail of memories from the past.
While some forget all about these photos, others feel the need to delete them - and the same can be said for our social media posts.
The issue can rear its head when a new relationship is forming; should you delete your old pics for your new partner's sake, or is that a step too far?
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The debate recently went viral thanks to a TikTok video from @meangirlpod, which suggested the '90/10 rule' - delete 90 percent of photos with your ex and keep 10 percent.
The post sparked mixed reactions, with some reckoning photos should be deleted once the relationship ends, while others firmly believe you should 'delete nothing,' arguing it's more energy than it's worth.
Now, relationship coach Kate Mansfield has shared her tips on handling the potentially sensitive subject, as part of Compare and Recycle's Digital Declutter study.
The topic itself is considered a red flag by some, according to a UK study.
Based on a survey of over 2,000 Brits, more than half (52 percent) say they'd be upset if their partner kept photos of an ex. Just 25 percent said they 'don’t mind.'
Only 24 percent of people have actively deleted photos with their exes, while one in 10 admit to keeping those photos even if it might upset their current partner.
Kate noted that while there’s no universal rule when it comes to pressing 'delete', context matters.
“If it’s just an old photo buried in your camera roll that you never look at, that’s different from having a folder of couple pics you revisit regularly,” she explained.
She added that this issue often causes friction in new relationships.
“It’s one of those things that taps into deeper issues - trust, insecurity, boundaries. It’s not about the pictures themselves, but how concerns are communicated.”
Poor communication, she warns, can turn a minor issue into a major rift.
“When someone feels dismissed or shamed, it builds resentment. But with mutual understanding, it’s usually easy to navigate.”
Kate has three questions for people who still have photos of their former flames to to consider.
Firstly, do these images bring back happy, sad, or neutral feelings?
Secondly - and possibly most importantly - would you feel the need to explain them if your partner saw them?
And finally, are you keeping them out of sentiment, or just forgetting to delete?
Ultimately, it’s less about the photos - and more about your intentions and communication.