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Psychotherapist reveals the real reason more men are having relationships with AI

Home> News> Sex & Relationships

Published 09:34 8 Aug 2025 GMT+1

Psychotherapist reveals the real reason more men are having relationships with AI

A relationship expert has given insights into the growing phenomenon

Gerrard Kaonga

Gerrard Kaonga

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A psychotherapist has weighed in on what is happening to men that is causing some of them to seek out relationships with AI.

Dating is changing very quickly with the advancement of AI technology, and things haven’t shown any sign of slowing down.

While you might expect someone to occasionally ask ChatGPT what they should reply to a text or maybe good conversation topics for a first date, other people are getting a whole lot more... intimate with these chatbots.

Some men have even taken to getting into full-blown relationships with AI chatbots, either through pay-monthly services or free AI chat pages.

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And while non-traditional relationships have always been a thing, people cozying up to AI romantically is relatively new.

Relationship expert and psychotherapist Sarah Louise Ryan spoke to UNILAD about the fast-growing phenomenon and highlighted the simple reason some men are turning to technology rather than real-life partners.

Sarah Ryan said not all of the men drifting towards AI girlfriends want control (UNILAD)
Sarah Ryan said not all of the men drifting towards AI girlfriends want control (UNILAD)

The relationship expert began by dismissing a potential assumption people might have about those having a relationship with an AI chatbot - that they simply want to control their partner.

She insisted it wasn’t really about control, but about comfort and avoiding rejection.

Ryan explained: “It's just so fascinating. Well, the first thing that I think about is that they're using it, but it's not about control; it's about rejection, not feeling rejected. That is what feels within control.”

She went on to explain how relationships of this kind can very easily become addictive because of the constant positive feedback loop that can be achieved from AI.

Especially since some services allow you to determine the 'personality' of the bot, which also means you can create someone more agreeable.

This ultimately differs from the complexity of real-life human connections, where someone can (and likely will) challenge some of the points or comments you make, rather than simply tell you what you want to hear.

Ryan went on to explain that things can become romantic due to the positive reception you receive from simply talking to the bot repeatedly.

Ryan warned that AI bot relationships can leave men trapped in a positive feedback loop (Getty Stock Image)
Ryan warned that AI bot relationships can leave men trapped in a positive feedback loop (Getty Stock Image)

“So you have got this chatbot that is instantaneous in validating your concern, giving you what feels like a connection.

“When you want it, it's attentive, and the way it's designed is to be empathetic. So you could say, ‘I'm having a really sh*t time dating, is it me?’ And it [will] say no, because that's empathy.

“The validation creates safety in our brains, right? So what's happening in the male psyche when he's receiving attention and empathy instantaneous conversation? He feels safe. So what feels unsafe going out there, relating to other human beings.”

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

Topics: Artificial Intelligence, Sex and Relationships, Health, Psychology

Gerrard Kaonga
Gerrard Kaonga

Gerrard is a Journalist at UNILAD and has dived headfirst into covering everything from breaking global stories to trending entertainment news. He has a bachelors in English Literature from Brunel University and has written across a number of different national and international publications. Most notably the Financial Times, Daily Express, Evening Standard and Newsweek.

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