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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Reddit
Bec Oakes
You think your family gatherings get uncomfortable? Imagine finding out your spouse used to date your brother...
In a post on Reddit's 'Am I the A**hole?' forum, one man shared how he found out his wife of 20 years used to date his brother.
The post reads: "My (50 ish m) wife (50 ish f) has been married 20+ years. My brother’s (45-ish m) wife (45-ish f) recently disclosed at a family dinner that my brother had a date(s) with my wife several weeks before we started dating. I never knew."
He continued: "They kept it a secret all these years. I realise it is ancient history, but we have had our marriage issues like every couple over the years.
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"I feel pain, violated, and almost irrationally angry that this 'secret' was common knowledge in my family, but I was clueless."
He also added that his sister-in-law implied the pair had been intimate.
"My wife and I already sleep apart. I am thinking of ending it with her over this," he wrote. "I was a fool for half my life to everyone close to me. I feel like they are all a**holes. From my parents (who said they thought I knew) to my siblings who all knew, I want no contact (at least for a while)."
Reddit users have since weighed in on the tricky situation, with most agreeing that his brother and wife were in the wrong for keeping their past relationship secret from him for all these years.
One person wrote: "Man I don't even know what I would do if my partner slept with my sister and I get to know about it after 20 years.... I would feel embarrassed and betrayed. this sucks."
Another added: "NTA [not the a**hole]. The whole family disrespected you and made you feel like a fool. Don’t let them try to minimize your feelings.
"It’s not one lie from 20 years ago. It’s hundreds of lies by omission at every holiday, every wedding, every funeral, every family dinner."
But, while users sympathised with his pain, they encouraged him to not act too rashly.
"I think you need to determine if you are upset that they didn't tell you, or upset that she potentially slept with your brother prior to you dating 20 years ago," one user wrote.
"You're NTA for being upset regardless, but figuring out the 'why' will help you move forward from here. Don't be so quick to throw 20+ years of marriage down the drain."
Talk about family drama!