A single woman was left in a terrible predicament after twigging that the very same man she had arranged a Tinder date with had recently become engaged.
Kimberly Anne, of Palm Beach County, Florida, had been chatting with her match all evening before they planned to meet, both opening up about their intentions of ‘looking for someone special’.
However, the 31-year-old legal professional was left in ‘complete shock’ after recognising him on her suggested friend list on Facebook. Not only was he already in a relationship, but his other half had announced their engagement the month before.
He sent me a message on Whatsapp, and I asked him why he was messaging me on there instead of just sending a regular text, and he just changed the subject. When I started scrolling on Facebook it brought up suggested friends, and I recognised him immediately from his profile picture.
I thought I’d take a look, and the first thing I noticed was that it said he was in a relationship. Hoping it was old I clicked on her profile, and the first post was an engagement announcement from exactly one month ago.
My first emotion was just complete shock, I could not believe it – I was just flabbergasted. I wasn’t seriously emotionally invested yet, but I was angry on her behalf that he would do this to her.
After confronting her would-be date with this alarming discovery, he completely denied being the man in her friends suggestions, brushing off her concerns with ‘Wrong person honey’.
However, after comparing pics from Tinder and Facebook, the distinctive tattoo on the man’s arm convinced Kimberly she’d caught him red-handed.
I looked again at his Facebook pictures and compared a tattoo on his arm to the pictures on his Tinder profile and it was the exact same tattoo, so I told him this.
I just felt if the tables were turned I would want her [his fiancée] to tell me. I feel women have to support women in these situations – we have to have each other’s backs.
Kimberly then made the difficult decision to inform the man’s fiancée.
Taking to Facebook Messenger, Kimberly presented the fiancée with the damning messages she had exchanged with the man.
According to Kimberly:
My whole body was shaking when I was sending these messages because I didn’t know how she was going to react. I felt so awful and partially responsible that I could potentially be breaking this woman’s heart.
I said do what you will with this information, I would want to know if it was me. She just said, ‘It’s ok, it’s not your fault, thanks’.
I blocked him and unmatched with him on Tinder because I was afraid that there would be some sort of backlash – I didn’t want to be harassed by him.
Since this incident, Kimberly hasn’t heard anything from the couple but believes they are still engaged, with their relationship status and engagement post remaining online.
Her response was so calm and minimal that I don’t know if she was in shock, or maybe this was something that had happened before and she wasn’t really surprised by it. I’m afraid that she has decided to forgive him, but that’s her choice if that’s what she wanted to do.
Personally I would have ended the engagement immediately, but maybe she was more understanding than I would have been. Later in the day I looked at his profile and saw he had changed his profile picture to one of him and his fiancée together hugging.
Maybe that was his way of saying that it won’t happen again through telling everyone he’s totally in love with her.
After sharing her experience on Facebook, Kimberly was left ‘saddened’ by the number of stories she received from other women who had faced similar situations.
One woman revealed she had dated a man for more than a year before finding out he had been dating someone else for three years. Another found out her Tinder match was actually a married father of three.
I want to believe that this is not something that is common. I’ve been single for eight months and ultimately want to find my special person – I would like my next relationship to be my last.
I have to be very careful going forward about what questions I ask and really assess the way they’re answering those, and continue to see if I can find anything about them online before I get too invested.
Here’s hoping Kimberly will have a more positive experience with her next match.
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