A 42-year-old man’s parents have banned him from social media after they became aware of the vile messages he’d been sending a 22-year-old woman.
Ben first contacted Joanne Barber*, from Swindon, Wiltshire, on Facebook last week, asking her if she wanted to go for a drink and calling her ‘gorgeous’.
When she didn’t reply, because she didn’t know him and had previously rejected his friend requests, the 42-year-old sent her his number before saying they could have ‘loads of fun’ together ‘as long as [she wasn’t] up [her] own arse’.
Joanne, who says she is used to getting messages from strangers online hoping to get a date with her, rejected Ben after his fifth message, when he again asked to take her out for a drink.
It’s at this point Ben got nasty, calling her ‘stuck up’ and ‘the same’ as all women, stating: ‘end up with some bloke that will use you and fuck you off and your [sic] be the victim.’ He then said she probably ‘look[s] rough as f*ck without makeup’.
When Joanne explained that she wasn’t stuck up, Ben just wasn’t her type and therefore she wasn’t interested in dating him, he called her a ‘fat c*nt’.
Joanne shared their exchange on Facebook to warn other girls in her area about Ben – because his Facebook page said he lived nearby – warning ‘every girl around Swindon’ to stay away from the ‘vile and disgusting man’.
Upon seeing his messages online, Ben attempted to apologise to Joanne but soon became nasty again when she didn’t accept his apology, telling her she was ‘acting above her station’ and her ‘good looks will go’.
Joanne, who works as a sales assistant, explained:
It’s my right to say no. It’s anyone’s right to say no. If a guy got the same message from a girl and she wasn’t his type, why should he go on a date with her? It was a constant back and forth.
He just wasn’t getting it. He wasn’t getting the point. He can’t do this to girls. It’s not okay. It’s creepy and disgusting. He turned out to be nasty. He called me the c-word, he called me stuck up. I was like, alright then, do what you wanna do. If you want to blow off some steam then blow off some steam.
It’s better that he does it to me than some girl who is going to feel sorry for him. Someone more insecure or upset by it might actually give in.
Joanne decided to share the exchange on Facebook after he started getting ‘more vicious’ and made a racist comment. ‘At the end of the day, people need to see who he actually is. He’s not a nice guy,’ she explained.
After doing this to girls and going through his messages, I knew he was not a nice man. He’s done it before and he’s not going to stop doing it.
I put it up as more of a deterrent and to teach him a lesson. He’s 42 years old, grow up. I wouldn’t expect this from a guy my age, let alone someone old enough to be my dad.
When contacted, Ben claimed he had offered Joanne a full apology which she had then rejected. He also claimed a lot of the story had been ‘fabricated’ – despite the fact she had screenshots of the messages he’d sent – and it had ‘blown up’ to him receiving death threats.
Ben went on to describe what had happened as ‘a bit of a witch hunt’, stating: ‘that’s all I will say on the matter.’
However, his own father said he realised the ‘severity’ of what his son had done and had subsequently taken all forms of social media off Ben, ‘even though he is 42 years of age’.
Ben’s dad said:
I’m sure it wasn’t a pleasant experience [for Joanne]. We have now taken all the media off him. He has no defence. He was going to say no comment. It was done in a fit of drunken temper. It was done in a fit of irresponsibility. We realise that. We realise the severity of it.
We have been in touch with the young lady and told her that we have taken all the social media off Ben even though he is 42 years of age.
Hopefully Ben will have learnt his lesson and now understands that speaking to women in this way isn’t going to get him anywhere in life.
Although I’m pretty sure he should already realise that calling someone a ‘slag’ and a ‘fat c*nt’ really isn’t going to get them to go on a date with him.
Thankfully Joanne stood her ground and showed Ben his behaviour really wasn’t cutting it.
*Some names have been changed in this article.
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