Man Opens 28-Year-Old Tin Of Ghostbusters Pasta, It Was Horrible

I think it’s safe to say we all know a thing or two about stockpiling after this year, and I’ve no doubt there’s people out there who still have tins of soup and bags of rice lurking in the back of the cupboard after a panic buy. 

The good thing about tinned food is that it lasts for ages, but online magazine writer Matt, from New York, proved some tinned food doesn’t quite keep its quality forever.

The themed Heinz product was adorned on the outside with the classic Ghostbusters logo, but contents of the can had somehow penetrated its container and started to blemish the label with ‘sticky black patches.’ Where anyone else might just throw it away, Matt promised his Twitter followers he’d open the can if he got 3,000 retweets.

Naturally the world was curious to see what 1992 tin of novelty pasta looked like, so after reaching his retweet target Matt donned a mask and a pair of gloves and set about cracking open the tin.

His protective gear was needed as he admitted that ‘freeing the *source* of those black patches seemed risky’, but he made a promise to his Twitter followers to follow through.

After removing the lid from the can, Matt was immediately met with an unpleasant sight and an even worse smell. After 28 years, the pasta had solidified into a ‘giant reddish wad’ which gave off a ‘dangerous’ aroma likened to the ‘dirtiest fish tank ever’, plus ‘a whole jar of oregano.’ Mmm.

Matt admitted that the pasta didn’t look too bad as he scooped it out of the tin, but he soon noticed that it was covered with ‘little black spots’, as if it had been infected with ‘that greyscale disease from Game of Thrones.’

The solidified pasta apparently took ages to get out of the can, and after a while Matt started to wonder whether the container was actually a ‘portal to some horrible parallel dimension stuffed with endless, godless Real Ghostbusters Pasta.’ Given the tin was themed around the supernatural, I suppose anything is possible.

The Ghostbusters theme continued inside the can as the pasta was shaped like objects from the franchise, though Matt admitted it was hard to tell exactly what each shape was supposed to be, guessing ‘the firehouse’ and ‘maybe a proton pack?’ Whatever it was, Matt noted that the pasta was probably older than many of the Twitter users following his thread.

Thankfully, Matt didn’t go as far as to see what 28-year-old pasta tasted like, and with all those black spots I don’t blame him. His thread came to an end as he encouraged his followers to ‘be safer than [he] was today’.

It’s unclear exactly what Matt did with the pasta after he’d emptied it out, but I can only hope it involved some kind of incineration.