Look, I’ve seen more than enough zombie movies and TV shows over the years to know that hiding around in the dark with a bunch of dead bodies is never, ever a good idea.
Game of Thrones can very well be described as a zombie series, albeit on a grander, more fantastical scale than has ever been seen before.
Rather than hiding out in abandoned shopping males and rotting prisons, our plucky, oddball group of survivors are holed up at the ancestral seat of the Starks, Winterfell.
And much like fictional apocalyptic refugees since time immortal, this thrown together tangle of misfits know absolutely next to nothing about zombies…
We were long ago advised by Ygritte that Jon Snow ‘knows nothing’, and until recently I felt this was a little bit harsh.
After all, Jon was one of the very first people to encounter – and spread the word about – the wight army.
However, my heart sank to the bottom of Blackwater Bay when I heard the King in the North utter the dumbest sentence I have ever heard:
We’ll put you [the women and children] in the crypt, where it’s safest.
Oh, Jon. The crypt? Where the dead bodies of countless Starks throughout the centuries lie? Possibly quite well preserved and ready to do battle at the Night King’s bidding?
Jon’s epic brain fart has been echoed by other characters, including Gilly and Sam who both insist upon the ominous as heck crypt being a safe haven.
This is very surprising on the supposedly clever clogs Sam’s part. He has seen the dead for himself on an enormous scale, and knows full well of the Night King’s skills as a walking corpse alarm clock.
The repeated mentions of the crypt, and its supposed sanctuary, is making viewers collectively gulp. The Winterfell residents believe the women and children will at least be secure throughout the bloodshed ahead, but it could be that nobody is safe.
Fans have taken to Twitter in hoards to discuss this grim theory, which would undoubtedly mean a very grisly death even for those not participating in the battles ahead.
One person shuddered:
The crypt at Winterfell going to be real cozy until the Night King raises his arms and all the dead Starks start killing everyone down there.
I cannot believe not a single character at Winterfell thinks about the fact that you got a lot of dead people in the crypt of Winterfell and the Night King can raise the dead from the grave…
It’s so painfully obvious what the NK is going to do.
I’m really not ready for headless, zombified Ned Stark to be executed all over again – maybe by a merciful or cornered family member – but it looks like I might not have a choice in the matter…
You can now – finally – watch the new season of Game of Thrones on HBO or Sky Atlantic.
If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via [email protected]