Home Alone 4 Is One Of The Worst Films Ever Made

Cameron Frew

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Home Alone 4 Is One Of The Worst Films Ever MadeDisney+

This makes me want to sit home alone and scream into a voice-activated pillow.

What do Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York have in common? They’re both festive classics. But like any good cow, the franchise has been ruthlessly milked dry since its first sequel, lowering its standards in the not-terrible, not-great third entry, but exceeding to the most breathtaking heights of lunacy on the fourth.

To say it continues the tales of our favourite problem child would be a bit of a stretch, but here it goes. Kevin (Mike Weinberg) decides to go stay with his dad (Jason Beghe) and his future stepmum (Joanna Going) in a mansion that would make the HAL 9000 sweat. Here, he comes head-to-head with an old nemesis at the rob once more; Marv (French Stewart).

Home Alone 4. (20th Television)20th Television

Macaulay Culkin is unmatched. He brought glorious, painful justice to two sleazebags, ate a lot of plain cheese pizza and enjoyed a high-class holiday in the Big Apple.

The reason I say Macaulay and not Kevin, as is his character, is because Macaulay made the film. Weinberg, bless his heart, puts in an enthusiastic performance, and at times manages to capture the glee of a young boy in a gadget-tastic home, but he’s simply not Kevin.

The main problem is… pretty much everything. The script is atrocious; why did they divorce Kevin’s parents? In a completely unnecessary move that is essentially u-turned by the end, (spoilers, whoops), any emotional weight is muffled by incredulous dialogue, at times blatantly ripping off its revered predecessors.

At the centre of the narrative is the mansion – revolutionary, magnificent, gorgeous and completely ridiculous. Controlled entirely by voice activation with tiny remotes which are connected to all aspects of the home (including but not limited to the TV, doors, shower, windows and a bookcase/bar which is activated by ‘Open Sesame’), if this took place far in the future it could be shrugged off.

But it’s not – it’s actually set in the late 90s! Behold this feat of engineering, beyond its time to the point it should probably be considered a wonder of the world.

The performances across the board go from mediocre to laughably terrible, with Going making a third act shift that feels schizophrenic rather than villainous. Stewart doesn’t inspire woe as Marv, although he never even breaths close to the legendary Daniel Stern.

Typical slapstick humour takes centre stage for the most part; alas, Kevin’s usual brand of grinning brutality is spared as well as logic. There’s a sequence where the entire bottom floor of the home is flooded – not just a centimetre or two of water, but more akin to a baby’s swimming pool.

Home Alone 4. (20th Television)20th Television

Don’t worry though, not only does the home insurance cover this domestic disaster, but it’s completely fixed the next day. This sort of insultingly assembled storyboard waves goodbye to the sensibilities of anything resembling realism. Its faults transcend mild annoyance to a new plane of cinematic fury.

Did I mention that the family have a relationship with the royal family? Throughout the film, we’re made aware that the ‘royals’ are coming to stay. How do they know the royal family? Why would they be coming here for Christmas? It’s okay, worry not, you will never know – just like I’ll never understand how this made it to my screen at all.

Home Alone 4 is available to stream on Disney+. If you’re feeling curious – don’t. 

If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]

Topics: Film and TV, Christmas, Disney, Home Alone

Cameron Frew
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