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Hospice nurse reveals the most common deathbed regrets

Home> Community> Life

Published 11:16 24 Apr 2024 GMT+1

Hospice nurse reveals the most common deathbed regrets

The moving revelations were published in the book, 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing'

Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton

They say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die, so how would you feel watching your life back?

Would you be happy with the way you lived your life, or would you have regrets?

If you think you'd have regrets, you're not alone.

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Bronnie Ware, a nurse who has spent a large majority of her career working in palliative care, found that there were five common things that people regretted about their lives upon reflection as they approached death.

'I wish I hadn’t dedicated so much of my life to working so hard'

Bronnie, who was a palliative care nurse for eight years, says many expressed their woes of having spent so much of their lives at work.

Apparently men in particular voiced this regret the most, with many being the 'breadwinner' of their house.

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Upon reflection, they wished they had spent more time with their loved ones instead.

'I wish I’d lived my life the way I wanted, not how others expected me to behave'

I'm sure a lot of people will empathize with this one.

Bronnie said that many felt they suppressed their true desires in a bid to keep the people around them happy.

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Those on death's door wished they'd spent less time working. (Kelvin Murray/Getty Stock)
Those on death's door wished they'd spent less time working. (Kelvin Murray/Getty Stock)

One thing in particular that Bronnie noticed is that people regretted not pursuing their personal dreams.

"The only way we can find peace within is to be true to our own calling, our dream and own nature," she writes in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.

'I regret losing touch with so many of my friends'

As we get older and busier, it's gets harder to maintain friendships. According to a survey published last year, eight percent of responds in the US said they had no close friends in what's being hailed as 'a loneliness epidemic' in America.

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But, while it might not seem like it when you've got three kids at home and a busy 9-5 job, friendships are extremely important to achieving a fulfilling life.

Many wished they'd done more to maintain their friendships. (SolStock/Getty)
Many wished they'd done more to maintain their friendships. (SolStock/Getty)

'I wish I’d been brave enough to express my feelings more'

We've all heard of 'the one that got away', right? Well it turns out many people at death's door wished they'd expressed how they felt more.

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According to Bronnie, a lot of people she spoke to 'suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others'.

"As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming," she continues.

"Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

'I wish I’d let myself be happier'

Of course life has its ups and downs, but do we really appreciate those happy moments? And could there be more of them?

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Many of Bronnie's patients concluded as their lives were drawing to an end that happiness is a choice - and sadly, a choice they didn't choose enough.

Those approaching death with often find themselves reflecting on life. (kieferpix/Getty Stock)
Those approaching death with often find themselves reflecting on life. (kieferpix/Getty Stock)

Some expressed that they felt 'stuck' at points in their lives, and I think we can all agree that sticking to the status quo can sometimes be the easy option... even if it doesn't make us happy.

Bronnie says, as per Metro Online: "Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."

Featured Image Credit: David Sacks/Getty / Image Source/Getty

Topics: Life, Community

Niamh Shackleton
Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton is an experienced journalist for UNILAD, specialising in topics including mental health and showbiz, as well as anything Henry Cavill and cat related. She has previously worked for OK! Magazine, Caters and Kennedy.

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@niamhshackleton

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