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Man sparks debate after refusing to donate kidney to dying sister 'because of who she married'

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Published 11:02 22 Jun 2024 GMT+1

Man sparks debate after refusing to donate kidney to dying sister 'because of who she married'

A guy has taken to Reddit to ask for people's thoughts on his family situation

Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton

Family politics are never easy to navigate, and this man's situation is a prime example of that.

I think we can all agree that for some people school can be one of the most difficult times of your life.

If you're one off the unlucky ones who don't 'fit in' with the crowd, there's a good chance that you were bullied for it.

And upon leaving school, most people hope to never see your high school bully ever again - but this guy's sister decided to get into a relationship with his and eventually marry him.

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The two siblings have become estranged because of who she married. (Getty Stock Image)
The two siblings have become estranged because of who she married. (Getty Stock Image)

This decision has ultimately left him questioning if he wants to get tested to see if he's a match with his now sick sister who needs a kidney.

The unnamed individual took to Reddit's famous 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) page to ask for people's thoughts on the matter.

Part of his post read: "I’m a 35 year old gay man. When I was in highschool, I was bullied severely by 'Darren'.

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"I won’t go into the details, but it was really bad, past the point of typical highschool duchebagery. In my sophomore year, I made the mistake of coming out to one of my friends, who promptly spread this information around the school.

"Before this, Darren had targeted me for being unathletic and wearing glasses and had done this to a couple other kids as well, but after I was outed it was only me, and only because of my sexuality."

A guy took to Reddit's famous AITA thread to ask for people's thoughts. (Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
A guy took to Reddit's famous AITA thread to ask for people's thoughts. (Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

The post went on: "After highschool, I moved away for college. I made friends, even got a boyfriend, and pretty much forgot about Darren, until one thanksgiving, my sister 'Ellie' brought home her boyfriend, Darren. No joke, the first thing he said when he saw me was 'Damn Ellie, you didn’t tell me your brother’s a f**.' Ellie f**king laughed, as did my dad. I was kinda stunned, but I didn’t yell or start a fight, I just got up and walked out."

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Ellie's decision to continue to date Darren has since put a huge strain on her relationship with her sibling, who now says is 'basically a stranger to me'.

Since their falling out, Ellie has been hospitalized and is in need of a new kidney. According to their mom no one else in the family has been a match for her so she asked her son to get tested and donate his kidney if it's successful.

Weighing up the prospect of doing so, he continued to write: "If I were to do this, I’d have to drive three states back to my hometown, miss who knows how much work, and give up a piece of my flesh, all for the woman who dated and eventually married the guy who made my high school days a living hell."


He has since said he will not be getting tested, with his mom going on to label him as 'vindictive and a monster for refusing to save my sister’s life'.

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He admitted that he feels guilty about it, but posed the question if he was the a**hole or not.

Many have suggested he isn't. Someone said: "Don’t feel guilty, she chose a person who was a monster to you growing up and insulted you as soon as he saw you later on as an adult."

"When our family is toxic like yours is, we need to cut them out like a tumor," wrote a second. "It's your body and your choice. They have not treated you like you matter so they will reap what they sowed. They are the a**holes, not you. You are not guilty."

What do you think?

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If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, contact the LGBT national hotline at 888-843-4564, available Monday to Friday 4pm-12am ET and 12pm-5pm ET on Saturdays.

Featured Image Credit: GoodBoy Picture Company/Kinga Krzemińska/Getty Images

Topics: Health, LGBTQ, Sex and Relationships

Niamh Shackleton
Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton is an experienced journalist for UNILAD, specialising in topics including mental health and showbiz, as well as anything Henry Cavill and cat related. She has previously worked for OK! Magazine, Caters and Kennedy.

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@niamhshackleton

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