Dominic Smithers
A man has opened up about being sexually abused by a woman when he was just a teenager.
The man, who goes by the name Chazonator on TikTok, revealed that he married a 32 -year-old woman when he was just 15 years old.
In a post to his channel, he explained that things took a turn not long after they tied the knot, with him soon realising that he was in an abusive relationship and was being 'used' by his wife, who already had two children of her own at the time.
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Responding to some questions he'd received about his story, Chazonator explained how it happened and when he decided to get out.
"It probably took me about a month after we got married to realise that this was starting to feel like SA (sexual abuse), and by that I mean that it wasn't something I wanted to keep doing," he recalls.
"She was very active [sexually]. She used me like a toy, like up to five times a day. I just got tired. I was exhausted, and I couldn't keep up with her drive. Anytime I would tell her no, I'd never hear the end of it.
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"It became very clear to me that in order to keep her happy, I was going to have to sacrifice every ounce of energy within my soul. She just smothered me."
Despite being a child at the time, he says that he was legally an 'emancipated adult'.
However, because he was still so young at the time, he found it hard to get a job and support himself, meaning he had to rely on his wife.
Chazonator says: "I quit school, I worked in tobacco for cash. I brought in as much money as I could. It was never enough. I was financially dependent on her. She had children. I could not stay there. I felt guilty. I had to get out.
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"Honestly, it took me many years to realise how severely this SA affected me and my ability to have relationships with other people.
"It didn't make me bisexual, but it definitely made it more difficult for me to have a relationship with a woman for quite a while after that.
"It took me literally decades to process the essay that she performed on me and to see it for what it was."
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And now, with children of his own, Chazonator says he would never let an adult do to them what he experienced.
"My oldest child turned 15, and that's when I looked at him and I realised that I was a child," he says. "I was 15. Once I was innocent, I didn't deserve what happened to me.
"And if any grown ass man or woman of age 32 had ever touched one of my children at age 15, that would have been the last thing they ever did. I was a child, she manipulated me. She's dead. I let it go."
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence regarding the welfare of a child, contact the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000, 8am–10pm Monday to Friday, 9am–6pm weekends. If you are a child seeking advice and support, call Childline for free on 0800 1111